Freaking

So, this time next week, CoCo and I will be puking our guts out, freaking out about the tri the next morning. It's gonna take me about 3 Ambien to get a decent night's sleep... I'm excited but scared. I mean, what if this was a huge mistake? What if I should never have gotten myself into this. It has been a huge investment on my part... Time, money, energy, etc. I'm not sure if I have prepared myself mentally as much as I have physically. I rode 19 miles this morning without stopping. I couldn't have done that 6 months ago. I ran for about 7 minutes the other day on the treadmill, and that was AFTER 2.5 other hours of workouts spread out over the day. I have come so far in such a small amount of time, but I'm scared that it won't be enough.

I know that this is just my fear of failure rearing its ugly head. I know it's just my own lack of self-esteem. But I'm so nervous. I can't wait to be with CoCo, Alana, Lesli and Lynn, all chillin in the hotel room, sharing the nervousness and the excitement, looking over all of our loot and waiting to wear the finisher's medals around our necks. That's what I need to remember -- how good it will feel to cross that line and be told that I "am a great triathlete".